It is incredible the power that something can hold over your being when the fear of it has cloaked you so completely that you dare not even speak out loud. The heaviness of these unspoken thoughts can be crushing. A monster that will eat you alive from the inside out.
It is a strange juxtaposition of these kinds of beasts that the acknowledgment of its existence does not give it power but takes it away. The alchemy of saying the deep dark secret. At last, shaking off the cobwebs of your secret space within your mind and bringing the contents into the light.
That moment when you finally name the beast. You not only admit that this monster is real - but that it has been gnawing away at the chambers of your heart in its secrecy. It is one of the best components of our humanity that those kinds of monsters have the power to bind us together in love and friendship. These moments that are initially so heavy with shame and fear end with love and kinship.
Homeostasis seems to be the holy grail of human existence. We all are working so hard for everything to be "ok". When something breaks that gentle balance and pushes us into the depths of despair it is part of our nature to try and hide that unbalance. When in fact nothing is more human than error.
I recently had the experience of sharing one of my biggest demon beasts out loud. A shame that I felt so deep down its toxicity to my system was palpable. It impacts almost every aspect of my life in silent battle. I finally decided to name my beast. To tell one friend, and then another. I was not met with dismal or shame or judgment, but love and understanding. The power of that beast was slayed by the simple act of acknowledging that it was.
It is a scary thing to face your beast. To say that everything is not that golden staple of "ok" but that you have been silently wagging a battle and are finally calling for aid. The conquering is in the acknowledgment. So I implore all of you to name your beast. Find the sanctuary of friendship or partnership and stop giving this monster power over your thoughts and mind. It is the beast of unspoken darkness that haunts us like ghosts of our hearts. Find your refuge in friendship and love that sheds light on those dark spaces and robs them of their power.